Dan was the Toastmaster and opened the meeting with the word of the day: affable.
The theme of the meeting was Fun Facts and Dan delivered several fun facts compiled by the Federal Bureau of Miscellaneous Information, including:
- As a result of recent technological advances in lasik surgery, hindsight is now 20/40.
- In Binghamton, New York, it’s illegal for a grown man to go by the name Ronny.
- With the soaring popularity of the telephone and the Internet, by 2006 fewer than one in seven homes still had a telegraph.
Jason Carty gave an insightful speech, comparing nuances in speeches by Patrick Henry, Abe Lincoln and FDR and reminding us that some of the greatest speeches have been delivered during times of conflict, when bold leadership and inspiration was especially needed. Still, the best speeches will have a well-defined opening, body and conclusion.
Don Lyman evaluated Jason’s speech, giving good suggestions on minor improvements for the next time.
Gary Fuller presented the Table Topics, which were mostly provided by Mike Angell, who was in our thoughts.
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale? Deron “White Sale” White deftly handled this topic, explaining the merchant’s assumption that the only time people notice a sale is when they’re ready to buy. This strategy also applies to linen sales and men’s suits. These also seem to be constantly sold at “discount” prices. However, most of us (especially Toastmasters) are acutely aware of how skimpy the emperor’s new suit appears. They’re threading on thin ice!
What are the differences you have noticed between her native language and American English? Krystyna, very graciously accepting this question, informed us that the English word for “corner” could be misconstrued when trying to convey the same meaning with just a straight translation to Polish, her native tongue. We’re not certain what “bad” word she was referring to, but I think we got her point. I remembered learning in Spanish class that sopa isn’t soap, ropa isn’t rope, and the “butter” is meant to kill ya!
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures? Nathan Wilkes, sharing his knowledge of secret societies, revealed a little-known dark conspiracy. It turns out that lighting vendors (beginning with Edison) infuse bug larvae into fixtures during the manufacturing process, and these larvae grow and die and eventually block out most of the light. Planned obsolescence! Who knew? Nathan also informed us that if you eat guava you will be eating worms that are always present in the fruit. The strategy is to eat the fruit when it is just turning ripe or before. Otherwise, you might bite into some nice juicy full-grown worms. Thus, the debate between “more taste” and “less filling” goes on.
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear? Don related a sordid tale of his past, regarding already-thin sports tee shirts wearing down to almost nothing. Extrapolating this for the question at hand, he concluded that yes, eventually, you would finally have to tape on the last bit of lint – sheer terror for most of us. We also learned that his family and closest friends call him Donny (almost illegal in Binghamton, NY).
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed? Jason told us of past yard sales where his family brought home some pretty weird stuff. It happened that some of the overstuffed sofas and chairs were stuffed with creepy crawlers that were tough to deal with. Talk about expensive furniture. Also, he described seeing gaudy 70’s and 80’s plaid clothes that would match my typical wardrobe, like the red and yellow leisure suit I wear at home.
Dan, please tell us your best bug story. I related that when I was in high school, my bedroom was in the basement, where large red crickets occasionally crawled into my shoes at night. This would give me a pleasant surprise when I’d be hurrying to put my shoes on in the morning. (At least I didn’t have to go without a warm, crunchy breakfast on those days.) That last part was something I thought about after I sat down, but I think everyone was grossed out already. I apologize to those of you who might be eating lunch now.
Nathan won the TT prize, which I wish could have been a box of gummy worms. But I think all attendees appreciated the yarns that were skillfully woven at this meeting. Isn’t it amazing how much our hindsight has improved?
Best regards,
Dan Pratt
